The Mad Conductor

Catherine Nicolette
MOM AND I WERE LEARNING OPERETTA from a retired singer in Welkom. Do, re, mi, fa . . . deep breathing exercises, arpeggio scales. Altogether, a very happy time.
Italian operetta became my life when I was not working or studying. Trying to hit the 'high B' became my life's ambition, and the day I hit high C, my cup of joy overflowed. Singing had its pitfalls, however. Not the least of them, that it's loud. To say the least.

Cats Chorus
The first time Mom and I managed to finish an Italian duet, we were delighted with ourselves. Dad was making tea in the kitchen, and there was dead silence as we triumphantly came to an end. "Dad, Dad" I called. He came to the door with a red and white checked teatowel slung over his shoulder. "What did it sound like?" I asked. Dad answered,"Rather like two cats I once heard wailing on top of a wall," and took a fit of laughing. Outraged, I put my nose in the air. Dad went off chuckling to make some tea, and Mom and I exchanged a look.
However, we persevered. And thus it came to pass that Mom and I spent many a happy day singing at local Weddings and Church Festivals
. 
Outskirts of the Bush
Years later I was living and working in the heat of a South African town at the outskirts of the bush. I was still organist and singer and sometime conductor at the local Church. 
One particular Sunday the choir, by popular demand, asked for "The Holy City" to be played after Communion. All week we practised whenever we had a chance. Sunday came, and we threw ourselves heart and soul into the task. After Communion and Thanksgiving, our little troupe sang with heartfelt devotion. We all finished our song to a stunned silence from the Church. Truly a happy end to a beautiful Service.

Schoolboys
After Mass, we all greeted each other and I went on my way. 
Humming, I came to a bend in the road. Around the corner were a group of boarder schoolboys. They were convulsed with laughter at the choir's antics; in particular one tall young gentleman. Eventually when he could get his breath, he cried, "Wait! Wait! I'll do the mad conductor . . . " 
Striped muffler around his throat, he stood straight and majestic in the midst of the road. 
He raised an imaginary baton much in parody of the choir introduction I had given; and then began a performance of a conductor wildly leading the few. He shook his arms, threw them about, and then staggered about, laughing convulsively.

Thoughtfully I regarded them, before continuing on my way.
 Never mind, I mused, they're still young; one day, they'll appreciate good music . . .  


The Mormon Tabernacle Choir - The Holy City - Jerusalem
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5OUfdCBaN8o&list=RD5OUfdCBaN8o#t=2 

The Holy City Lyrics - Charlotte Church 
http://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.nsf/The-Holy-City-lyrics-Charlotte-Church/942C03710B28FD2548256AEA0003D3DD 

With thanks to the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, Youtube and sing365