LUKY
MY YOUNGEST DAUGHTER had to undergo a test, conducted by the local child guidance clinic, to see whether she would be ready to start school the next January.
When the big day arrived she and I had a big argument about whether she should wear my second daughter's sub A uniform (her choice) or her Sunday dress (mine). I won.
Sean, who was free that day, took her to the convent, where a woman told him I would have to fill in the questionnaire.
Slightly inflated by the knowledge that he is as good a cook as I am or better and had been doing the shopping and much of the tidying over the past few years, he assured her that he could answer the questionnaire on my behalf.
In for a surprise
He was in for a surprise.
"How old is your child?"
"Moedie," Sean whispered, "how old are you?"
"I don't know, Dad, five I think, or six. I'm not sure."
"That's all right, love."
Next question:
"Give the child's date of birth."
"Moedie," Sean whispered, trying not to draw the attention of the other parents who had heard his bold assertion, "remember that big party you had with the presents and the cake? What date was that?"
"I don't know, Dad."
"Never mind, love."
Time for help
Next question: "Did you have a normal pregnancy. . . what kind of a confinement did you have. . . did you suffer from kidney trouble. . . was your blood pressure normal?"
Sean fled to the telephone, only to be told I was already on my way.
After my arrival, Sean left for his job and I stayed on.
There was a little Afrikaans girl in the entrance hall, aged two and a half, who had us all in stitches with her precocious expressions.
One of the inspectors took our little daughter away and we parents, united by our laughter at the little girl, started chatting.
I blessed the fact that my second daughter had gone to the librarian some months previously, and asked for her advice to prepare her little sister for the tests.
Clued up
One week the librarian gave her a book on colours.
When my youngest knew them all, my second daughter took out a book on numbers.
The next week she taught her sister the days of the week, and so on.
The little Afrikaans girl was becoming obstreperous when my youngest and the girl of the pink ballet slippers arrived back together.
My youngest, looking adorable in her Sunday dress, her plaits done in Pippie Langkous style, took one long leap from the door and landed on my lap, her arms tightly around my neck.
"Mommy, I knew everythink he asked me", the ballet girl said to her mother.
My youngest, who was shy in company, whispered into my ear: "Mommy, I also knew everythink he asked me."
Flounce
The little Afrikaans girl was getting irritable and her dad was getting hot under the collar.
He was evidently English-speaking, and mixed his languages.
"As jy nie dadelik stilsit nie gaan jy in die moeilikheid beland!"*
The little girl looked at him in shocked disbelief at such vulgarity.
"Sies!"* she said, and walked out into the courtyard, to dissociate herself from the motley crowd in the entrance.
I was still giggling at her magnificent exit when the door to the parlour opened and the child guidance inspector called me in.
His boss, to whom I am well known, introduced the two of us and asked him to tell me what he had just told the others.
The inspector made a flattering comment about my youngest's brightness and his boss added: "It gives us great pleasure to inform you that she is quite ready to go to school next year."
Amid smiles and kind words I took my leave.
Suddenly I was all for the idea of having one's kids tested to see if they are ready for school, though I had been violently opposed to the idea.
That's human nature for you.
Poor Dad
I told my youngest and she was very proud.
Her dad was put out when we told him that night.
"I'm going to be feeling lost next year", he said.
"Now I'll have no one to play with any more."
But I felt so happy to think that my youngest child was to enter school.
I was not getting any younger myself and I like to see progess.
Still, I made a special fuss of my youngest that weekend, and even though she was now almost a schoolgirl she was not above sitting on my lap when we watched the feature movie that Saturday.
Schoolgirl or not, Moedie proved once again that she still knew how to make us laugh.
Pointing at the screen when the tall girl in the circus kissed a short clown at his earnest request, she said: "Now he's gonna grow."
*If you don't sit still, you're going to get into trouble
*Horrible
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