Luky:
AS chief keeper of the family purse during my husband's illness, I had the most humiliating experience - one of my cheques bounced.
If only they had not stamped the cheque "signature reinstated" I would have smelt a rat. As it was I made a fool of myself, asking friends and the bookkeeper at work what it meant.
"It means, my dear," they told me tactfully but firmly, "that there is not enough money in your account to cover the amount on the cheque."
I felt so humiliated. And it was the last straw that broke this camel's back. I had managed to control my emotions throughout my husband's severe illness. Yet the night after my cheque came back, I had a good howl.
How it happened
Next morning I went to the bank and soon discovered that in my agitation I had paid into my husband's account a cheque made out to me, and that instead of putting his initials on the deposit slip, I had entered my own. So my own cheque had lain there among their queries while I was sending out worthless pieces of paper.
"If you tell those people to phone me", the lady at the bank said, "I'll explain to them what happened."
"Skip it" I replied, "I cabled the money to them earlier this morning. But since I do have a savings account, I can't understand why you allowed the cheque to bounce."
Four out of five
"Because it was one of five you sent out on the same day", she explained patiently. "We honoured the other four, even though your current account appeared to be overdrawn."
Well, that's something else I've learned. However, I've refused to make out another cheque ever since. My husband was unbearably paternalistic about the whole thing.
"You see Ma, I always tell you I've got more common sense than you have", he repeated. "Leave all these little financial matters in Daddy's hands, that's the best thing to do."
Good record
Though fulminating inwardly, I had to admit none of his cheques ever bounced.
And yet there's a lesson to be learnt from the cheque episode. All my life I felt superior to people who have rats in the roof, nits in their hair, fish moths in the curtains, whose cheques bounce and who are summoned for debt by lawyers.
And what happened to me? All right, I never was summoned for debt, but I bounced the cheque.
All are vulnerable
God has shown me, sometimes in a manner which I found hurtful and humiliating to my vanity, that these things can happen to anyone and that you don't have to be shiftless and irresponsible to be the author of a dishonoured cheque.
In fact, I have developed a rather soft spot for the latter kind of person.
"Look at this pile of bouncing cheques", someone said to me one day, holding out a sheaf of them. "Honestly, some people!"
"If you are referring to the people whose cheques bounce, you will kindly do so with respect in my hearing," I replied loftily, "since I became a member of their brotherhood."
Catherine Nicolette:
Oboy. The fraternity or sorority of the financially embarrassed. I would love to disclaim knowledge of the shame of the shuffling queue at the bank to confess financial impecunity, but no. Honesty prevails. I was at the head of the queue at times.
You see, it's like this. As pastor and supporter of charity, outgoings sometimes overtake your incomings. In the words of the immortal Micawber, "Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure nineteen, nineteen and six, result happiness. Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure twenty pounds ought and six, result misery."
Sometimes weekly income is dodgy or nil due to ill health or unemployment, and weekly expenditure borrowed or over-drafted. Result embarrassment and awkward questions at the bank.
In younger days I was delighted to discover what an overdraft was. I was not so delighted when I ran into deep financial shoals. I remember coming in to the bank yet again to ask for financial guidance. When I spoke to the lady at the bank, I began, "I am having financial problems ..." and she said, "what's new?"
I felt mortified. When I returned home, I sat down and drew up a list of financial resolutions. They ran something like this:
"1. If I do not have the finances, I will not buy the item
2. If there is a sale, I will avert my eyes and keep on walking
3. If I need expensive equipment, I will save up for it
4. I will recycle
5. I will re-use
6. I will visit charity shops and buy pre-loved items
7. I will give items I no longer need to charity shops so they can sell them to others who are in need of them
8. I will buy house cleaning materials and toiletries in cheap bulk, and decant them into recycled cleaned containers
9. I will buy mainly fruit and vegetables for my diet - a cheap and sustaining menu."
The list was successful, to the point that sometimes I am told I seem stingy. A refreshing appellation in place of those which landed me in the queue of need at the bank.
I am still not rich. But respect for the Micawber Principle has inspired me towards more stability on the rickety highway of finance.
Image with thanks to free clipart library
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